so today... I just realized that i wasn't invited to something that the rest of my friends were.... by a not so close friend... leaving me alone to myself.... and it hurts... really hurts because the only friends i have are going to be gone. and IT FREAKING HURTS! but its a part of being human and when we block these emotions... we don't heal and we fester and lick our wounds. Christ suffered on the cross and in the garden so we can heal if we choose to accept his atonement. and part of this includes .... Feeling emotions deeply.
I was told a story by a woman in Virginia of a dream her father had,
" I was in a dark place surrounded by hundreds of glowing spheres, covered in spikes, each had a picture or memory caught in the middle, some painful , some sad , embarrassment and shame, they hurt , but as he picked them up , he pressed them to his chest and by doing so the spheres absorbed into his body and dissolved and the feeling of pain went away."
I find myself thinking about this over and over as i have emotions that are hard to deal with in my life arise , i think about what a blessing it is to feel, to have compassion grow with in us for those who feel it frequently... empathy.
I used to be a very empathetic person by nature but as i hid from my emotions i tuned out of that god given gift and became a very selfish person... very selfish.
And it makes me sad how selfish i have become..... i don't know. i just need to run... peace out!
